Book Review: Bottled Up: How the Way We Feed Babies Has Come to Define Motherhood, and Why It Shouldn't

I first heard about Suzanne Barston's blog, The Fearless Formula Feeder (http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/), after I had difficulties nursing my son earlier this year. I had taken the prepared childbirth classes and a breastfeeding class to be ready for the responsibilities that came with our new arrival.

In the hospital, nursing seemed to go well, but my son only had to nurse for short amounts of time while we were there. When we came home, I tried many times to successfully nurse him, but had several struggles. He wasn’t able to latch correctly, which caused me pain to the point of tears. Eventually, nursing became something I dreaded. I didn’t feel the bond that I heard about in my breastfeeding class. I met with a lactation consultant, who tried to help me get him latched correctly, but came home having incredible pain. I still tried to nurse, but also started pumping in the hopes that even if we couldn’t get the latch down, he would still be getting my milk. Being attached to a pump, however, didn’t allow me the time I wanted to be spending with my son. I was in constant worry that I wasn’t pumping enough milk even though I was pumping every few hours and so sad that I was attached to this machine while other people held and rocked my son.

With the support of my husband, I decided after a month of pumping to switch to formula. For me it came down to the fact that I was stressing out over pumping all the time and not getting that quality time with him.

Once I went to formula, I tried to find formula feeding moms support groups. I thought since there are plenty of breastfeeding support groups and organizations, there has to be formula feeding groups. However, I was disappointed to find out there wasn’t much out there but did stumble across Barston’s blog. I picked up this book at the library and was so relieved to read that many people had experienced what I had. Barston describes what scientific studies really show (correlation vs. causation) and combines that information with personal experiences—both her own and others—to show how the focus of “breast is best” leads many of us to feel like failures as mothers if we can’t breastfeed babies. She outlines the challenges of pumping when women return to work and how we should instead be offering more information and resources to women instead of assuming all women will be able to breastfeed. I really could relate to her point that many women don’t know about properly preparing formula and this isn’t taught to them by the nurses in the hospital or in much of the literature women read prior to their delivery.

I think Barston sums the purpose of this book quite nicely in her introduction of the book:

                “Mostly, though, this book is for the woman who is in tears, with cracked nipples and a screaming baby whom she can’t mother because she is constantly hooked up to a pump, who wants so badly to quit breastfeeding and finds nothing but fear-and-guilt-inducing literature everywhere she turns.”

This is one of the most helpful books I have read both pre- and post-pregnancy and I encourage other women facing difficulties breastfeeding to pick up a copy. My only regret is not reading this sooner!